Being Perfectly Imperfect

 

So we are creating a community where we live in harmony with the Earth and with ourselves. Hmmmm, having written this, I  debated much about what I thought that means ... living in harmony with ourselves and with the Earth. As I first thought that sentence it conjured images for me about living perfectly; living completely and utterly sustainably for example, or living in harmony with eachother; never arguing or having a cross word or bad thought, it became for me a synonym for "being perfect". Well, when I thought this was the vision of this place, I began to feel a little tight, I began to feel like I'm not really worthy; I immediately began to think of all the ways in which I am not perfect, and soon enough the vision had become the source of some major angst. Not so much 'vision' now, as 'unachievable utopia'. This, I notice, is the way of many things, certainly in my life, a belief that I must, in some way, be different to the way that I am. Better, more "-----", less "-----" whatever it is, you can fill in the gap. And so, slowing down now, and in contrast to this stressful thought,my vision is to live in harmony with myself in a way which means really being in a practice of compassionately being ok with all of my imperfections. Bringing a practice of noticing all of the ways in which I am imperfect and really not needing to be any different. It's funny even as I write that, immediately my mind jumps to "well what if people think I'm arrogant, or don't understand that I'm trying to be better?!"...wow, acceptance is really hard. 

 

Imagining a world where you did not need yourself to be any different to how you are. Just pause, there, for me at least, that takes some pondering.

 

Not needing to be any different to how you are, not at all.

 

Wow.

 

For me, what opens up in that moment is a sense of peacefulness. I immediately become aware of how much of my energy is expended on trying to be different, which is a somewhat useless pasttime. It's exhausting, it shuts me off from my family and loved ones, and I procrastinate doing the things that bring me joy and contentment until I have become the person I think I should be. 

 

The same too for the Earth, I want living on this Earth to be different to how it is now, I don't like the destruction and damage that our corporate world is inflicting on the Earth; the devastation of natural habitats, people, animals. I hate it. I want it to be different. The idea that it is all perfect is repugnant to me. How can I let go of the idea that it's wrong to pour pesticides into the ground? And so, so many other examples come to mind, but if for a moment, I pause... I invite the contemplation, "I don't need it to be any different to how it is". I don't need it to be any different to how it is. I feel calmer. I feel clearer, less anxiety, less fear, less speed. Slower. Less anger, more love. Firstly, I notice I feel freer to enjoy what is actually in front of me. Without being carried away by thoughts of destruction, war, suffering, I can notice how beautiful the flowers on my table are. I can feel in a more connected relationship to the Earth.

Ironic.

That by not needing to it to be different, I seem to enjoy it more.

And I guess, after all, if we're not enjoying it, really loving the Earth and appreciating its gloriousness, then what's the point of spending so much time trying to save it!?

 

When I think of the vision for Creatura as being in harmony with exactly how we are, then I feel free, happy. I feel more able to act in an aligned way with the world I would like to help create. I feel freer to bring kindness,consideration, compassion into the world. I am less caught in trying to change everything and more able to just move as I want to. 

 

Bring still with everything as it is, present, 

 

So, living the beautiful, harmonious and sustainable life that I dream of becomes a much more fun prospect. 

 

So I invite you here, in whatever way you would like to come, to be yourself (you are anyway), to not need anything - yourself, others, the world, to be any different. To notice what arises in response to it and to find what space for you opens when you're not trying to change anything. What inspires you? What do you love? Where is your soul callling you? What have you always wanted to do? 

Email: info@alexandralagaisse.com   Tel: 07779080932

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